If you want to feel happier and to achieve your “someday” goals, check out my program Projekt Possible.
Although I thought I was doing an awesome job crushing most of adulthood single, I realized I always had one eye on the task at hand and the other keeping a look-out for my dream man (maybe that’s what scared him away – strange eye movements, haha). But I think because of the split in my attention (and intention) I never learned to fully love myself, or to appreciate the relationships I already had with friends and family. So I’ve made it my goal to work on loving myself and I wanted to share with you three tips I wish I’d been given before I went on my man-hunt (aka 3 ways to master self love and value human connection):
1. Love the Relationships You Already Have
Stop looking around in your moments of victory for a man to share it with: you already have your friends and family celebrating with you – feel that. Basking in a personal win alone is better than splitting the experience in half with the wrong person, anyway.
Don’t search for a man to hold you in your struggle; reach out to your sister or your roommate or your friend who went through the same thing last year. Learn to nurture yourself. When you don’t even want to get out of bed, muster up the strength to treat yourself the way your mother would if she were there.
Laugh with friends and family. Drink wine with your sisters. Go camping with your friends. Crush heavy weights with your training partners. And be fully there, instead of having your head wandering off wondering where your dream man is at.
2. Love Your Body Unconditionally
Feed yourself the best food you can get your hands on.
Move your body in ways that make you feel amazing (and stop caring about the way you look in front of other people – you look a lot sillier when you’re trying not to move in a weird way than you do if you just surrender fully to the movement).
Accept yourself just as you are right now, in this moment.
As hard as it is, accept your body – love it!
Every roll or every abdominal muscle,
3. Get to Know Your Spirit
But more importantly love what’s inside – because your body will change over time. And you have a part of you (your spirit) that part of you that makes you unique; that makes you stand out in a crowd when you speak about the things that really matter to you; that part that only comes out around your closest friends.
That part of you won’t change.
But you don’t know it fully yet – make that your goal. Make that your focus. Self love and self discovery.
No one else is ever going to be able to make you feel all of the things you dream of feeling but you: happiness, love, acceptance – you name it; it’s completely and utterly up to you.
So start by feeling the love that’s already around you: from your friends, your family, and even your Instagram followers (if it’s only a number that you want to see go up, you’re doing it wrong. Social media done right is about connection and not about fame.)
But more importantly, learn to feel love from yourself.
You are worthy.
You are enough.
I believe that unconditional self love comes from stopping the diets and giving your body what it needs instead of holding back from it because you think you’re not good enough; it comes from spending more on organic, local food because you’re worth it instead of fast food that is cheap and easy.
It comes from quitting doing gruelling workouts because you wish you looked different and instead, finishing them because you know how great you’ll feel afterwards and that you grow mentally and are more prepared for life’s curve balls when you choose to do hard things.
Unconditional love is reading books that interest you instead of social media posts that drain you.
True self-love is chasing your dreams down when society tells you they aren’t possible.
Serious self-love comes from discovering and expressing all parts of your spirit instead of neglecting your passions and your values. Maybe it’s learning to play the guitar because deep down you know you love music. Perhaps it’s starting a recycling program or a community garden in your area because you value reducing your ecological footprint but you’ve let your standards slip over the years.
I’m done letting my eyes wander around unless it’s at a mirror looking at me and telling myself I love what I see just as I look right now (because I struggle with body image too) or at my friends, family, or followers to be filled with gratitude at my amazing support system or to admire each one of them in their individual greatness.
It’s time for serious self-love and even greater self-discovery.
If you’re ready to love and discover yourself, check out my program Projekt Possible. It starts September 19th and there are only 20 spots total. Don’t wait.