By Rana Wright
There was a time in my life I refer to as my ‘Deep, Dark, Hole Time’.
- Are you there now?
- Have you dug yourself into a cavern so deep you can’t see the light of day?
- Do you wish a superhero would swoop in and save the day for you?
I feel you. I was there. Can you relate to me?
- I lived in self-doubt 100% of the time.
- I compared myself to others and I always came up short.
- I was my own worst enemy and constantly told myself I wouldn’t be able to accomplish what I wanted to in life.
- I didn’t love myself and my relationships with others (including my husband and son) suffered because of it.
- I kept everyone at arms length because I was scared they would see how fearful and hurt I was inside.
I didn’t believe in my own self worth. Do you believe in yours, my friend?
I wished someone would fix everything for me, so I didn’t have to work at it.
I wasn’t always like this, and I imagine neither were you. I was happy-go-lucky and confident. I was a go-getter who had lots of friends and accomplished pretty much whatever I put my mind too. I loved myself fully and surrounded myself with people who were the same as me.
Life threw some crazy curveballs at me. Over time, I let these challenges derail my self-confidence. I started to tell myself a different story.
A tale where I was lesser than those around me. A story that I was flawed and a burden.
This version was full of negativity and ill will. I started to believe this new narrative was true and it became the new version of my life.
And so, what came to me in the people and events in life, was what I was putting out into the universe.
- My love life was a shamble. I attracted men who treated me horribly. I didn’t believe I was worthy of love and so the men in in my life didn’t really love me.
- My friendships were filled with spite, animosity, and loathing. All the things I felt for myself. The people who reflected what I was feeling were the people I was spending time with.
Is your love life suffering from a lack of self-love?
When True Love Comes Knocking
It wasn’t all bad. I met the love of my life and I recognized in him all that I could be. A part of the old me awakened when we met. I wasn’t foolish enough to let him get away. I truly believe we found each other at time in both of our lives when we needed each other the most.
We got married and it was amazing. We decided to have a family. We tried. Couldn’t. Decided to adopt and the next 4 years were spent in agony as we waited for the child we wanted so badly to come into our lives.
When our son finally did come into our lives, I took a nose dive straight back into the deep, dark, hole.
(A juxtaposition of happiness and sadness is reflected in this photo)
Being a mother was harder than I ever imagined, and all my insecurities grabbed hold and tried to pull me under. I self-sabotaged even more and it culminated in my husband asking – no begging – me to get help.
Seeing him so vulnerable and sad was the wake up call I needed. I had to start believing in myself again. I couldn’t play the victim role anymore. I couldn’t blame others. I had to look myself squarely in the eyes and take responsibility for how my life had taken shape.
There Is Hope For You And Me
It wasn’t easy for me to become my own hero, and it didn’t happen over night. It took a whole lot of courage and telling my ego to hit the road! I had to allow myself to look inward and be vulnerable.
See, here’s the thing. We control our story. We govern what we believe about ourselves. We can believe we are doomed, unworthy, and sit back and let life happen to us.
We can decide to write ourselves the story we truly want! We can ask the universe for EXACTLY what we want. And you know what? The Universe will work its magic and make sure you get it!
I decided it was time to be my own hero!
I took the steps I needed to make myself better.
- I called my doctor and we got me rolling on my “happy pill”. It helps keep my anxiety at bay.
- I started to let go of the people in my life who didn’t serve me in a positive way anymore.
- I was offered the chance to coach at the gym I go to, CrossFit Brio, and though it scared the hell out of me, I said yes! One of the best decisions I ever made!
A company called Idealistic Isabel kept popping up in my life through Facebook and other people I know. I thought I wanted Nutrition coaching but what I really wanted was someone in my corner who believed in me more than I believed in myself. This decision changed my life.
Through some hard work, being honest with myself and soul searching, I slowly started to love myself again and tell myself I was worthy.
Now my life AND heart are so full.
I love myself completely and self-doubt has been replaced with a strong self-belief.
I know my purpose, challenge myself to try new things on a regular basis and know that I can do whatever I put my mind to.
I don’t need to compare myself to anyone anymore. I am awesome.
I feel worthy of all the amazing people who are in my life and the love and support they give me. My relationships are fulfilling and empowering.
I have opened myself up and started letting people in. I give big hugs instead of holding people back.
Love Is All You Need
You see, at the heart of the matter, all I wanted was love in my life. I wanted to love fully and be loved wholeheartedly in return. But for this to happen I had to start with me.
Once I truly started to give MYSELF the love I wanted, I started to get it back in the most amazing ways.
I had to fight for and trust in myself. I had to remember my inner magical Unicorn and let it shine!
We all have it in us to be our own hero.
Are you ready to your own hero? Are you ready to feel like you the best version of you?
I’m here to support you ever step of the way!
If you’re ready to be your own hero (and if you want Rana to guide you along your journey), we have a program just for you! Our Dream Life Design program starts January 17th. It will help you: get clear on your vision, learn deep self-love, and it will give you the strategies you need to get into your dream life. Click here for more information.