By Rana Wright
Do you tell yourself you can’t do something before you even start?
Are you afraid to try something new because you might fail?
Do you worry about what others will say if you do something new or adventurous?
I’ve been there too, my friend. In the past, I’ve told myself all kinds of negative stories to keep from achieving my goals. These kinds of stories can sound a little something like this (Do any of these sound like you?):
- “I won’t be able to lift this weight. I just know it.”
- “We’ll never find a parking spot!”
- “That’s just how things are. You can’t change them.”
- “I can’t do that now that I am in my 40’s.”
- “I’d like to try something new, but I’ll probably just fail.”
- “People will judge me and laugh at me.”
It’s ok if you catch yourself saying these things. You’re human after all. Awareness is the first step towards starting the journey to change. Own it.
Have you’ve always wanted to…?
- Lose weight
- Live your dream life
- Try a weightlifting meet
- Compete in the CrossFit Open
- Travel to another country on your own
- Take an acting class
- Feel connected and have close relationships with other
but you let those things remain as “someday” goals or things for someone else to do?. Sound familiar?
If you feel like you might fail here’s the thing: even if you fail at something, YOU WIN BECAUSE YOU TRIED!
Odds are you won’t fail though. You may not come in first, but you’ll be a shining superstar in your own eyes, and in the eyes of those who love you the most. ALSO, you’ll have done something AMAZEBALLS for yourself.
I truly believe we can tell ourselves ALL kinds of stories keeping us from living to our full potential. What if instead we told ourselves stories about ALL THE AMAZING THINGS WE CAN ACCOMPLISH instead?
That brings me to a little trick you can use to transform your self-talk.
Track Negative vs. Positive Self-Talk
This is a great way to see how much negative vs. positive self-talk you are doing in a day. Keep a journal and track for a week.
Have one column for negative talk and one for positive talk. Each day put a check mark in the negative column when you have a negative thought and check mark in the positive column when your thought is positive.
Add up the total at the end of each day and see if you are more on the negative or positive side of things. Then, at the end of the week, tally up each day and see where you fall in the spectrum of self-talk.
Once you know where you’re in the realm of negative vs. positive self-talk, it’s time to turn that frown upside down.
Tips to Positivity
- Practice Gratitude – practicing gratitude in your life WILL make a huge impact. Once we shift our focus to being grateful for all the amazing people and things in our life, we can start to focus on the positive rather the negative.
Practicing gratitude can take as little as 5 minutes a day!
- Gratitude Journal – write down 3 things you’re grateful for with a bit of detail. Reflect on each of the things you’re grateful for.
- Accountabilibuddy – Find a friend who is willing to practice gratitude with you. Text each other every day 3 things you are grateful. Sharing with a friend or family member makes it even more special.
- Gratitude Jar – this a fantastic way to include your spouse and kids. Have a jar in a visible, accessible area (maybe the kitchen). Every day, each family member writes down something they grateful for, signs the note and places it in the jar. At the end of the year, sit down as a family and go through the notes in the jar and reflect on what each member has been grateful for.
- Set Positive Mantras or Intentions – a mantra or intention is a short sentence, word, or words that can you can use to evoke certain beliefs, responses or to manifest things in your life.
- “I WILL be able to lift this weight I just know it.”
- “We WILL find the perfect parking spot!”
- “I CAN create the life I want.”
- “I CAN do anything I put my mind no matter how old I am.”
- “I’ll try something new and exciting and see where it takes me.”
- “People love and support me.”
The power of a positive mindset may seem hippy-dippy but trust me when I tell you IT WORKS!
I was challenged by my Dream Life Design Coach to start using mantras every day to help me break out of my negative self-talk cycle. At first, it was hard, and I didn’t believe it could work. However, I decided it was worth the effort to experiment and see if it works.
I started out slow just telling myself “I can do this!” or “I am worthy.” I began to believe I could do the things I put my mind too. I started manifesting love, friendships, and goals into my life quickly.
Before you know it, mantras became second nature to me. I know when I set a mantra and I 100% believe in it, then it will come to me!
What we get out of life, is a direct result of the effort and positivity we put in to it!
We teach people how to embrace and use both these activities and a whole lot more in our Dream Life Design program.
How will you manifest positivity into your life? Start by becoming aware of the kinds of things you’re saying to yourself and others, track how often your self-talk is positive vs. negative, and then use mantras and watch it transform your life.